There’s no Oscar for Security Theatre, but there are other ‘perks’

So the TSA, fantastic people that they are have decided to relax the bans in the war against liquid… err… terror, or something. However, bad news for anyone with who’s had a boob job. According to new TSA guidelines:

In addition to the above changes, the following guidance is provided to ensure the health and welfare of certain air travelers the following items are permitted.

* Items used to augment the body for medical or cosmetic reasons such as mastectomy products, prosthetic breasts, bras or shells containing gels, saline solution, or other liquids; and…

…You are not limited in the amount or volume of these items you may bring in your carry-on baggage. BUT if the medically necessary items exceed 3 ounces or are not contained in a one-quart, zip-top plastic bag, you MUST declare to one of our Security Officers at the checkpoint for further inspection.

Now at SnakeOil Labs we pride ourselves on being at the cutting edge of technology, here’s ‘Dangerous Dave’ with our new prototype breast augmentation anti-terrorist checking device:

I’m fortunate in that mine are all natural, although I am also unfortunate in that I’m male. Still, at least I can hit the gym, well maybe next week. I’m just glad that our friends across the pond have finally twigged to the threat of big-breasted terrorists, something so infeasible that even the late, great Russ Meyer couldn’t have come up with that one. Still, what happens over there often ends up over here – so I’m off to apply at Heathrow as soon as the opportunity arises (pun intended).